Our Stories

                                  

As a writer I have written about many different people and different situations each with their hero, but one story that still remains difficult for me to write is my own.

You would think that this would be easy, I mean who knows me better than myself. But this can often get in the way. I find myself second guessing what people might care about, really why should people care about my life at all? It's really not that exciting. It's also easy to change things around, make things more interesting than they really are when you are the only one who knows the story.

I guess this happens to some of us all the time, we don't speak up or express ourselves, because we think no one would care. The truth is we won't know unless we try. Sometimes you won't get the response you want, you won't be heard, believe me I've been there, and sometimes people surprise you. They will stop and listen and what you have to say will be just what they need to hear.

So here's the challenge for me and for any of you, be sure and strong in your story and your opinion because one day it will matter to someone.

Holiday

So I'm on holiday! Nothing beats spending some quality time with your family.

But lets be real, this mid-semester vac is nothing more than a study break. I have even had to give myself a time table to try get all the work I have to do done. So here's hoping you all have a great vac, Easter, Passover or any other special event you may be celebrating :)


 

Lending a helping hand

So today was an exciting day. The psychology 3 students are given the opportunity to work in a few community based projects. Some involve going to the local mental institution and spending some time with the patients. The project I'm working on is called Masibambane which is Xhosa for working together and supporting each other. In this project we get into pairs and each pair 'adopts' a child with a disability. The disabilities range from cerebral palsy or autism and others with other physical or mental disabilities.

Now for the exciting part. Today my partner and I were allocated our child. His name is Ntombizanele, he was born with club feet and while they are slowly coming right he still needs a lot of help. Our role will be to continue building strength in his feet and legs through recreational activities and help to develop his social and communicative skills. This step in the project has made what we are doing very real.

This is going to be a challenge, but what makes me so excited is that it will hopefully teach me so much about working with children and will most definitely teach me something about myself. It is not going to be easy and will require patience and understanding.

I will keep you updated about anything cool that may happen.

It's the little things

Wow the last few days have flown past in a blur. You know when you are so busy that going on Facebook is a treat, well that was me. But being busy is awesome. Take it from the worlds best procrastinator that the busier you are the more you get done.

Just one of the special moments. Picture by Carissa Govender

What I have realised in the busyness that has consumed my life is that it is the small moments of calm, laughter, gratitude, and moments where things go right, that get you through even the most hectic days.

These moments in my life: eating peppermint tart at 9pm, playing 30 Seconds while drinking filter coffee, my friend lending me her car so that I could run all my errands and then sitting around a fire enjoying the company of special people.

For many this may seem average and unexciting, but what would life be without these small moments. Our world is crazy and everyone lives in their own little bubble focusing on everything that they have to get done. Take a look around you, appreciate the people in your lives and the opportunities you have been granted to do so many different things and then perhaps being busy won't be so bad.

And then when you can finally take a breath and just relax, cherish those moments before it all starts again.

 

Free will...so what!

So in personality psychology this week we looked at behaviorism for the 100th time since 1st year. Behaviorism is a body of psychology that believes everything we do is determined by our external environment and past experiences. In other words we have no free will. While this theory has subsequently been replaced by theories such as the cognitive theory, it did get me thinking. 

So many people find it easy to define themselves by their past or their current situation, and allow themselves to believe that they can't be any better because of where they are or what has happened to them. Now forgive me for sounding a little cliched but I think this is just an excuse.

I'm not saying the past and present has no effect on who we are. Of course we are shaped by things that have happened to us, but too many people get stuck. The truth is eventually people will stop feeling sorry for you and then you will have no where else to go.

We all have free will, we all have the ability to slowly change our circumstances, whatever they may be. Therefore we shouldn't let anything hold us back from achieving what we want. One of my greatest friends had a childhood some would describe as hell, yet she is one of the most generous, honest, passionate and humorous people I know and she is making something of herself in spite of her past. 

Ok, we have probably all heard a story of over-coming adversity to achieve success, but maybe its not about looking at what other people have done, rather look at what you have done with your life. Have you used every opportunity given to you, have you persevered even when things got tough, or have you let your circumstances become an easy scapegoat? I know I sometimes do. 

Something to think about I guess.

This is me

You know that nervous feeling you get when you're standing on the starting blocks of the 50m freestyle as the person with the gun shouts "take your marks!" Well that's kind of how I'm feeling right now. As I dive into the world of blogging I truly hope that this is not a false start. 

Who knows where this blog will take me. I may give advice, I my provide a description of my many hours of people-watching, debate about issues that I find important, I may even get personal. All I hope is that you as the reader you get something out of this.

While I'm studying psychology I am by no means claiming to know all the answers or that I can solve any problem, but through 21 years of being a friend I realise that people like talking to me for some reason, and for an even stranger reason appreciate my advice so I shall offer it as it comes. A for the title of this blog, it was the idea that when people come to me for advice the tend to knock before barging in, but also as thoughts and inspiration come to me it is as if the doors of my mind are opened to new things...that just got deep. 

So as I start this journey, I shall thank you for joining me, apologise in advance for any mishaps and warn you that this is a work in progress. See you on the other side.