Just one of those things

Generally I'm the strong person. The one that everyone turns to. And I love it. I truly believe that it is my calling to be an ear when people need someone and to be the strength for those that cannot hold themselves up. Someone even asked me just a couple of days ago if I ever get sad or mad. I guess I'm answering that question right now.

Even I have my moments when I just want to crumble.

I tend to take on a lot of what those around me are feeling. When my friends suffer, I suffer for them, when they need to scream I will lose my voice. Perhaps this isn't the most rational way are dealing with things and it may not necessarily healthy, but it's who I am.

Today, I reached that point of absolute saturation. I have a statistics test, I have other work, duties, responsibilities and time is screaming past me in a blur. I give time to all my friends and I don't judge or turn my back on people who perhaps need a wake up call.

And then I just stopped.

I got to church and just went straight into conversation with God. I was angry, worried and exhausted and by the end of the service my emotions were obviously clearly visible because I was embraced by love and hugs from everyone.

So here's a little insight into me that only a few know. It takes a lot to get me really down like a lot and it takes even more for me to share it with other people. Writing this blog post is even a challenge for me, but what's life without a challenge.

 I hate feeling like a burden and I know that other people suffer from a great deal more than I do. Yet there are those people that my guard falls down around and they are people I cherish most in my life. And the common denominator in all of us is our love of God. It is one of the most comforting things to see God in your relationships with people, to share in Gods strength. It is like a warm blanket that holds us together in ways that we may not even understand.

Lesley, Mona and Namso you are some very special human beans* and you were complaining that I haven't mentioned you in a blog post yet so here is a super special one to be mentioned in. The fact that you don't even wait for me to open up and just bombard me with hugs and questions is something that I am incredibly grateful for. You allow me to have my moments and just let go. I admire you all in unique ways and you are all beautiful women of God. You're cool, you can stay :)

I guess what I continue to learn in life is that we really cannot do it all alone. It sounds ridiculously cliched, but there it is. Even the strongest people have their cracks and bruises.

Don't get me wrong I most certainly plan to bounce back (momentum is already building) and perhaps it is these low moments that make us appreciate the joy and love that we experience every other day.  

Have a good week everyone.